im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
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Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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