He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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