Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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