I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
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He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
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I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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