He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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