I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
