There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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