No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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