Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It's just like the Real World with babies
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
