Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
someone owes me an orgasm
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize