it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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