this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
