sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
