I'm gonna have a badass scar
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
