i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
you never un-have a 4some
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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