Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
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My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
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Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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