4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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