Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
