No stitches, just platelets and will power
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants