When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
