So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
