Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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