Dude my mom stole all your condoms
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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