Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
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If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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