Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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