You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
