wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
pop tarts are not kleenex
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
