For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
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She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
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We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I deserve this hangover.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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