You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
