Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize