marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
