I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
