Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
