You made me cry and you don't even care
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
