I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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