It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
