She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
In America we eat man semen.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
