I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize