Hey man sorry I got all grabby
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
