Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize