its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
