okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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