Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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