Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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