NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize