note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
