And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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