she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
