Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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