I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
