I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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