Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
