then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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