Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
