A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
