i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
