The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I love you. Go after that dick
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
