Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
